Stress, Cortisol & Fertility: Understanding the Connection
How many of us have had someone say:
“Just stress less and you’ll get pregnant”
“You’re gaining weight because of stress”
“It’s just stress”
…but no one actually sits us down to explain what that really means.
When I was younger, doctors would ask me, “Are you stressed?” and I’d always reply “No.” Why? Because I lived in constant stress. My nervous system was always in fight-or-flight mode, but to me, that felt normal. I didn’t even know what calm felt like.
Now, after years of healing, soul-searching, and removing myself from stressful environments, I finally understand the meaning of stress — and how it affects the body, hormones, and fertility.
What Is Cortisol and Why Does It Matter?
Cortisol is often called the “stress hormone.” It’s released by the adrenal glands as part of your body’s natural stress response. In small doses, it’s actually helpful — it gives you energy to get out of bed, helps you focus, and supports your immune system.
But when stress becomes chronic — whether it’s from relationships, health issues, work, financial pressure, raising children, or unresolved trauma — cortisol stays elevated. That’s when it can start causing harm.
My Story: Living in Stress Without Realising It
In my 20s and 30s, I found myself in a toxic and dysfunctional relationship. Because it was my first relationship, I didn’t realize how unhealthy it truly was. I thought that’s just how life was meant to be. On top of that, I carried the weight of financial stress, as I wasn’t being supported and had to take on the role of breadwinner. Every responsibility rested on my shoulders. At the same time, I felt deeply unfulfilled in my career. My heart longed to study and pursue something that gave me purpose, something that aligned with my soul’s mission here on earth. But following that path meant I couldn’t work full-time, which only added to the financial strain I was already under. I felt deflated and unworthy. I often questioned what my purpose was and if this was really how my life was meant to be.
Looking back, I now see I was in constant stress:
I wasn’t eating properly and lost too much weight
My digestion was out of balance
My hair was thinning and oily
My skin was dry
I had wrinkles well before my age
My nails were weak
I was barely sleeping, staying up late and waking up early
My cycles were out of whack
Experienced consecutive miscarriages without a diagnosis
I looked and felt older than I do now in my 40s. And yet, I never thought anything was wrong, because living in stress had become my “normal.”
Starting fresh was not easy. Making that decision to walk away from certain situations required trust in the unknown and strong faith that things would work out for the best. Deciding to put myself first for once was so scary but so liberating. Packing up and moving states was also scary but it put me on the path I was meant to be on. I trusted my intuition to start fresh in all areas and follow my dreams
Fast forward 20 years: I’m out of that type of relationships, I studied counselling and holistic well-being, built a very fulfilling stable career, started my own business, created my own security, and found my self-confidence and identity. I now live every day knowing I’m giving back to the community and that fills my soul. Today, I can recognise stress immediately and I don’t allow myself to stay in it. It doesn’t mean I’m running away from problems, but instead I recognise them and cut them off.
A Little Stress Can Be Good
Not all stress is bad. In fact, a small amount of stress known as “eustress” can be motivating. Things like running late to work, meeting a deadline, or sitting in traffic trigger short bursts of cortisol and adrenaline, which give us the push to act, move, and stay alert.
The problem comes when stress doesn’t switch off. When cortisol stays high for too long, the body pays the price.
Chronic high cortisol can lead to:
Digestive issues
Weight gain or loss
Fatigue and poor sleep
Hair loss and skin problems
Weakened immunity
Hormonal imbalances
And many more symptoms and imbalances
Over time, this can increase the risk of heart disease, diabetes, and other long-term conditions.
How Cortisol Affects Fertility
Cortisol doesn’t just affect digestion, sleep, or skin. It also has a big impact on reproductive health. When stress hormones are elevated for long periods of time, they can interfere with the delicate balance of the reproductive system.
High cortisol can:
Suppress ovulation or make it irregular
Lower progesterone, which is vital for implantation and early pregnancy
Disrupt the menstrual cycle, leading to heavy or irregular bleeding
Affect egg quality
Contribute to conditions like PCOS and hormonal imbalance
In my 20s and 30’s, my cycles were completely out of balance. I rarely ovulated (if at all), and my periods were unpredictable. Sometimes they were so heavy and long that I would bleed for an entire month, get a short break, and then start again. Other times, they would disappear altogether.
I also experienced multiple miscarriages, and even though doctors would ask me, “Are you stressed?” I would always reply “No.” Looking back now, I can see that I was living in a constant state of stress without recognising it and that was very likely affecting my fertility.
During that time, I also developed PCOS and other imbalances in my reproductive health. My body was speaking to me, but I didn’t yet know how to listen.
It wasn’t until my 30s, when I started truly prioritising myself, that things began to change. I left toxic environments, moved homes, paid off debts, found a job that gave me security and fulfilment, and slowly rebuilt my life. And as my environment shifted, so did my body:
My cycles became regular again
I started noticing ovulation
My hair grew back thicker
My skin became brighter, softer, and more youthful
My digestion improved
The bloating and inflammation eased
It was like my body finally felt safe enough to function the way it was designed to.
Looking back, it makes sense why miscarriages and irregular cycles were part of my story then. Stress was silently running the show. Today, I often wonder….now that I live differently and manage stress in healthier ways, how will my fertility journey look when I try again.
Do You Recognise Stress in Your Life?
Sometimes we don’t even realise we’re stressed, because it becomes our baseline. Here are a few questions to ask yourself:
Do you wake up feeling tired, no matter how much sleep you’ve had?
Do you often stay up late, unable to switch off your thoughts?
Are you frequently thinking about money, work, or “what ifs” when you try to relax?
Do you get digestive issues (bloating, constipation, diarrhoea) when life feels heavy?
Do you notice hair loss, skin breakouts, or frequent colds?
Do you find it hard to be present, always planning or worrying?
Is your breathing often shallow or your heart racing without exercise?
Do you crave sugar, caffeine, or salty snacks to “keep you going”?
Do you find yourself snapping at loved ones more easily?
Do you feel restless even in calm environments?
If you answered “yes” to several of these, your body may be signalling that stress is taking a toll.
Ways to Support Your Body and Lower Cortisol
If you’re feeling the impact of chronic stress, know that you’re not powerless. Here are gentle, supportive practices that can help:
Lifestyle tools that helped me:
Spending time in nature
Practicing meditation, prayer, or breathwork
Journaling your thoughts to release them from my mind
Gentle movement (walking, yoga, stretching)
Sing, hum, or chant to activate the vagus nerve
Prioritised quality sleep and healthy routines
Surrounded myself with supportive people
Removed things, situations and people that no longer served me
Lifestyle change
Supplements that helped me (always check with your doctor first):
Ashwagandha
Magnesium
B vitamins
Omega-3s
Professional support that can help:
Speak to your GP or a holistic specialist
Consider therapy or counselling
Explore stress-management tools tailored to your needs
My message to you
Stress is something we can’t completely eliminate and we don’t need to. But learning to recognise it, manage it, and calm the body’s stress response is life-changing. Not only can it improve your overall health, but it can also support your fertility journey.
You deserve a life where calm is your baseline, not stress. 💛