You Are Still Carrying the Energy of Your Spirit Baby Within You
From the moment a woman conceives, her baby’s cells begin to share space within her body. Even if she experiences pregnancy loss, those tiny pieces of DNA often stay with her—a phenomenon known as microchimerism.
The Science: Microchimerism and Pregnancy Loss
Microchimerism refers to the presence of a small number of cells in an individual that originated from another individual. In the context of pregnancy, fetal cells can cross into the mother’s bloodstream and tissues, where they can persist long-term—even after miscarriage or stillbirth .
Studies have shown that fetal cells can remain in maternal tissues for decades, with implications for maternal health, including potential roles in tissue repair and immune system modulation . Interestingly, these cells can even be detected in the brains of women, suggesting a profound and lasting connection .
The Spiritual Perspective: Energy and Cellular Memory
Beyond the physical presence of these cells, there’s a spiritual dimension to consider. Our bodies are not just vessels; they are repositories of experiences, emotions, and energies. Traumatic or joyful events leave imprints not only in our memories but also within our cells. This cellular memory means that every experience, every loss, and every joy becomes part of our being.
In spiritual practices, it’s believed that the energy of a pregnancy loss doesn’t dissipate but transforms. Some traditions hold that the souls of babies may return in future pregnancies, carrying with them the essence of those who came before. This belief aligns with the scientific understanding that the cells of previous pregnancies remain within the mother, suggesting a continuous, interconnected cycle of life and energy.
A Personal Reflection
Having experienced multiple miscarriages and two late-term losses, I carry the cells and energies of my babies within me. These experiences have shaped my spiritual journey and deepened my understanding of the connection between life and death. Through my work as a healer, I’ve come to see that the energy of my babies continues to guide and support me.
Before I conceived my baby in 2016, after so many losses, my body was a mess. My periods were irregular, I was told I had PCOS, my thyroid was off, I had unexplained weight gain and digestion issues — it felt like everything in my body was failing me. Then, when I finally carried that pregnancy, something shifted. Tragically, I lost my baby at 28 weeks, and afterwards my body went into what I can only describe as a kind of PTSD. No matter what I ate or how I moved, the weight gain was uncontrollable and my body felt out of balance in every way.
But slowly, as I began to heal emotionally and do the inner work, something unexpected happened. My body started to recover. Bit by bit, all of the imbalances I had struggled with before — my thyroid, my cycles, my hormones — began to balance out. For the first time in years, my body found a new sense of normal. Even though I lost that baby, the time I carried them completely transformed me. They left me with a gift of healing that I still carry within me.
So when I conceive again in the future, I believe my rainbow baby will carry not only part of my DNA but also the energy and essence of all the babies I’ve lost. In this way, they are all connected, held together in a story of love, loss, and hope.
The Importance of Healing Between Losses
It’s so important to allow time for healing between pregnancies. Rushing into another pregnancy without giving your body and spirit time to recover can create emotional and physical challenges. Your cells, your hormones, your womb — they all need time to reset and heal. This process is vital not just for you, but also for the well-being of the baby you’ll carry in the future.
I remember pushing my body month after month after each miscarriage. I remember the doctors telling me to wait a few months, but I never wanted to listen. All I wanted was to be pregnant again, and I thought the only way to heal was to keep trying. But in truth, that urgency was harming both my mind and my body.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned through all of my experiences, it’s that healing takes time — and that time is not wasted. Every pause, every moment of rest, every tear shed, and every breath taken is part of preparing your body, mind, and soul for what’s ahead.
Even when we lose our babies, they do not leave us completely. We carry them in our bodies, our hearts, and our souls.
So if you are walking this path of loss, please know: you are not broken. You are becoming. And one day, when your rainbow baby comes, they will carry not only your love, but also the love and energy of the little ones who came before them.
Give yourself grace. Give your body rest. Trust that your story is still unfolding, and that hope is never gone.